After a couple of great consultation sessions with Ellie Di (who rocks the block, in case you didn’t know), a couple of important things have crystallized for me.
1) I’m much more comfortable talking about personal issues with women than I am men. My general physician is a woman, and I’m perfectly comfortable talking to her about all kinds of medical issues, including ones related to my man parts. I wouldn’t be as comfortable talking to a male physician, even when it involved my man parts. I’m also much more receptive to advice given to me by women than I am to advice given to me by men. There are a number of reasons for this, but it really just boils down to: I’ve never really felt all that comfortable with men, and although there are some men I’m very close to, I still wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about my health, my emotions, my sex life, etc. But I’m completely comfortable talking about that stuff with women, even women I don’t know all that well.
2) When it comes to dealing with mental and emotional issues and making changes in my life, I’m much more receptive to enthusiastic, energetic people who deliver good-natured kicks to the ass than I am to calm, reflective people who give gentle, moderate advice. It’s one of the reasons why Ray Bradbury has always been so important to me: his essays and stories were always enthusiastic kicks in the ass to LIVE. It’s why I love blog posts by Chuck Wendig and Johnny B. Truant. What I need in a therapist/life coach/mentor is the drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket, except inspirational and good-humored, rather than abusive. I need to be pushed and pulled, inspired and excited.
As it happens, the therapist I’ve been seeing is male. He’s gentle and soft-spoken, and his advice to me is often to slow down and not rush into things. He’s been very helpful, but I often find myself hesitant to make new appointments with him and not always excited to go to sessions with him. In sessions, I often feel uncomfortable bringing certain topics up. I believe I’ve hit on why this is, and it’s clearly something I need to address.