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Multiverse

ain’t thou watching my film?
my pride is too proud
i have to be silver
more than i have to lose my shine
it’s so different being me
all i never understand
never over being awkward
never over self-doubt

my energy is to feel as to be
my energy is my gift
my energy is my gift

accept that i’m frightened
but i’m difficult to defeat
accept that i’m insecure
but i’m difficult to defeat

inside me is self-hate
but i rejoice in victory
burning inside me this tape-loop of self-hate
but i rejoice in victory
accepting my powers
accepting the lightning
& look at my own invention
my own identity

my energy is to feel as to be
my energy is my gift
my energy is my gift

accept that i’m frightened
but i’m difficult to defeat
accept that i’m insecure
but i’m difficult to defeat

to own & reclaim
to do what i’m being
my thoughts seeing possibilities & potentials
& it’s a ball full of chaos
i have the responsibility of accepting my best
a sense of stepping out of the life i had
stepping up to my real powers
stepping up to my real life

my energy is to feel as to be
my energy is my gift
my energy is my gift

accept that i’m frightened
but i’m difficult to defeat
accept that i’m insecure
but i’m difficult to defeat

my needs are strengths
my needs are strengths
that help bring roles to be understood
when darkness falls and i have it all wrong
i wake up quietly and embrace all my shadows
& i’m never emotional
& i’m never emotional
except i’m always emotional

my energy is to feel as to be
my energy is my gift
my energy is my gift

accept that i’m frightened
but i’m difficult to defeat
accept that i’m insecure
but i’m difficult to defeat

i feel handsomely incomplete, hollow, never strong
easier to go in different directions
in different directions than my lightning points
i am grasping unreliable, too worldly or smart
to trust people, to trust myself
to be reassured at the refusal of your bad
to have the control i’ve never had

my energy is to feel as to be
my energy is my gift
my energy is my gift

accept that i’m frightened
but i’m difficult to defeat
accept that i’m insecure
but i’m difficult to defeat

why do i need your approval to be strong?
a hope for no darkness means cowardly hearts
a hope for no darkness means cowardly hearts
are they wrong about being open to struggle?
inside me the struggle is real
the struggle inside
the struggle inside where the illusions are real

i will not fight a hundred different beings
i will not fight a hundred different beings that are me