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Multiverse

Thursday, July 7, 2016

ain’t thou watching my film?
my pride is too proud
i have to be silver
more than i have to lose my shine
it’s so different being me
all i never understand
never over being awkward
never over self-doubt

my energy is to feel as to be
my energy is my gift
my energy is my gift

accept that i’m frightened
but i’m difficult to defeat
accept that i’m insecure
but i’m difficult to defeat

inside me is self-hate
but i rejoice in victory
burning inside me this tape-loop of self-hate
but i rejoice in victory
accepting my powers
accepting the lightning
& look at my own invention
my own identity

my energy is to feel as to be
my energy is my gift
my energy is my gift

accept that i’m frightened
but i’m difficult to defeat
accept that i’m insecure
but i’m difficult to defeat

to own & reclaim
to do what i’m being
my thoughts seeing possibilities & potentials
& it’s a ball full of chaos
i have the responsibility of accepting my best
a sense of stepping out of the life i had
stepping up to my real powers
stepping up to my real life

my energy is to feel as to be
my energy is my gift
my energy is my gift

accept that i’m frightened
but i’m difficult to defeat
accept that i’m insecure
but i’m difficult to defeat

my needs are strengths
my needs are strengths
that help bring roles to be understood
when darkness falls and i have it all wrong
i wake up quietly and embrace all my shadows
& i’m never emotional
& i’m never emotional
except i’m always emotional

my energy is to feel as to be
my energy is my gift
my energy is my gift

accept that i’m frightened
but i’m difficult to defeat
accept that i’m insecure
but i’m difficult to defeat

i feel handsomely incomplete, hollow, never strong
easier to go in different directions
in different directions than my lightning points
i am grasping unreliable, too worldly or smart
to trust people, to trust myself
to be reassured at the refusal of your bad
to have the control i’ve never had

my energy is to feel as to be
my energy is my gift
my energy is my gift

accept that i’m frightened
but i’m difficult to defeat
accept that i’m insecure
but i’m difficult to defeat

why do i need your approval to be strong?
a hope for no darkness means cowardly hearts
a hope for no darkness means cowardly hearts
are they wrong about being open to struggle?
inside me the struggle is real
the struggle inside
the struggle inside where the illusions are real

i will not fight a hundred different beings
i will not fight a hundred different beings that are me

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The Sign of the Star as an Act of War

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

It was a ceremony of difference, a whispering campaign: Presidential candidate Roland Child, the Fool in Yellow, posted an arcane, anti-Semitic image yesterday morning, causing a terrible backlash and further confirming that his petty cabinet is made from insane, chained puppets, well beyond the usual boundaries of politics, and they all fled for the factories of fear, those ungainly misfits.

The image featured a picture of his rival, Mallory Castor, the Mistress of the Crows, dressed as a magician with a six-pointed star next to her face. She was offering up chaos and mud. He claimed she happened to betray him, and the star turned mainly from yellow to red. (Continued)

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Pride

Sunday, June 12, 2016

feel the beat of my heart
feel the pulse in my veins
i have nothing in me but love

i have nothing in me but love
while you venerate
fire & guns
muscle & hate

i can’t give you my blood
but you can spill mine
i have nothing to give but love
my love is my strength
stronger than steel
stronger than greed
stronger than muscle & hate

i have nothing to give but love
spilling from the beat of my heart
spilling from the pulse of my veins

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Stuff

Friday, June 10, 2016

i only know as much as i can stuff in my head
a monstrous accumulation of trash & treasure
the ghosts in my closet & the beast beneath my bed
a stone’s throw away from a world with measure

a monstrous accumulation of trash & treasure
we only exist when fed by the storms
a stone’s throw away from a world with measure
an infinite world not yet eaten by worms

we only exist when fed by the storms
this world with a mighty tempest on the edge
an infinite world not yet eaten by worms
our demons lurking just outside on the ledge

this world with a mighty tempest on the edge
the ghosts in my closet & the beast beneath my bed
our demons lurking just outside on the ledge
i only know as much as i can stuff in my head

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Timbus

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

what do you get when you crash
your car into a wall
of broken radios?

you go back to berlin
you mistake time for
tricycles racing through the house

air raid sirens of anxiety crush
hearts in a grip of serpents!
all vinegar in the veins

so you go back to brasília
looking forward to
anger & spite & cayenne crosswires

mistaking time for
a crashing of glass cars through
monumental cold

& you go back to berkeley
but you can never go back
never go back to the blood of lost teeth

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If on a Summer’s Day…

Monday, June 6, 2016

I walk into a bookstore, looking for a cheap paperback. A pale woman with bright-blue eyes looks up and gives me a smile. Her hair is dyed purple and green; her clothes are all black. My heart swoons, though I haven’t even known her for a short while. But when that pale woman with bright-blue eyes looks up and gives me a smile, I forget all about the book I came in to find. My head swims, though I haven’t even known her for a short while. These are the times my heart overpowers my mind.

I dazedly forget all about the book I came in to find. Was it an epic fantasy or a dark murder mystery? These are the times my heart overpowers my mind. This is why I have such a messy love history. I just can’t remember if I was looking for an epic fantasy or a dark murder mystery when I originally walked into this bookstore, looking for a cheap paperback. This is why I have such an awkward love history. I’m a fool for women with dyed hair, dressed all in black.

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